Tag: personal

soon… a new year. || 20th september, 2017.

( p e r s o n a l . )

It may just be a birthday. We all have many of those in our hopefully long lives, so they shouldn’t be special. But they still feel like it.

Tomorrow is mine.

I’m in a new country, for a new degree, full of new stories and with a head and heart that finally feel like they belong to me. I’m nor saying that I’m not afraid of the future, or afraid to lose youth without burning bright. We’re all a bit scared, deep down.

But I’ve got dreams to follow and ways to find, and no time to be hopeless and hollow.

in six days

I’m one year older

learned of worlds yet none the wiser

kissed words to life and lips not once

but young blood runs my veins to pieces

since I became my god and priestess

arrival. || 9th of september, 2017.

( p e r s o n a l . )

Dear London – hi. Hello. I have only been here once before, now I am here for a year. You are centuries old and I’m young and tiny, but I think we will get along just fine.

So, London – veni vidi mansi. Eamus!

a new beginning. || 8th September, 2017

( p e r s o n a l . )

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’m boarding my plane to a new country. To a new city full of millions of people and towards a masters degree at one of the best universities in the field.

I’m not nervous yet. That usually happens at the airport. I’ve packed my things, cleared my head a little, taken a few last photos of home and house and family.

It’s probably just a new chapter – but it feels like a new book. I have no idea what is going to happen, but that is okay. Any journey is worth going on, and maybe I’ll find a few great adventures and words along the way.

Dear London – I’m coming.

Reasons why I do anything in life:

– need to do this or I’ll die

– I’m good at this so watch me be fantastic

– I want to be good at this so look at me becoming obsessed with it

– sounds interesting, let’s fucking do it

And my personal favorite:

– someone told me that I couldn’t do it

valuable news. || 12th of July, 2017.

( p e r s o n a l )

After receiving an unconditional offer for a master’s degree at one of the best European universities a few months ago (and accepting immediately), two days ago something just as exciting happened.

To pay more than half of my tuition fees, my future university department has granted me a bursary. That is money I’m receiving because they found me deserving, and money I never have to pay back. 

And of course, I accepted immediately. It’s not the full amount, but it takes worries off my shoulders and off those who support me leaving my home country for one of the largest cities on the continent. 

So in early September, I will board a plane with two suitcases that are honestly more expensive to pay for than the flight itself, hopefully adequate language skills, notebooks and pen to keep me sane in the chaos of moving, and a long playlist to somehow settle me down (I’m taking song suggestions, inbox is always open).

I don’t know what to say. It will be very different. New. Maybe a little terrifying. Who knows what could happen at that university (nobody), and who knows what I’ll find for and of myself in that city (not even the universe could know that and it’s been around for longer than any of us, so that’s exciting)?

Ah, damn, I just can’t wait. I can’t wait to lose myself to another place on earth and perfectly strange people and the words that’ll break down the door to my skull to be written down. 

The deep end can’t go down far enough for me. 

i did it. || 10th of March, 2017.

( p e r s o n a l )

A few hours ago I received an unconditional offer for an incredible masters degree at, I dare say, one of Europe’s best universities for that particular as well as my formerly studied subjects.

Oh my God.

I feel a bit dizzy and overwhelmed and quite frankly bursting with excitement and joy, so it will take a bit of time to sink in.

And not only will the university in general and the department specifically offer amazing opportunities; I will also be living in one of the largest European cities which includes me moving to another country.

I can’t wait. There are so many possibilities. And maybe, just maybe… I’m almost afraid to say it, but…

…there could be a new path for my writing, maybe even for a novel.

Now I need to lie down and fully realize everything. There’s so much to do, but for now I can only think:

I did it.

the last of the master’s. || 1st march, 2017.

( personal. )

I have taken and passed the last exam of my master’s degree. Achieved the best possible grade. All that remains now is one more upcoming semester for the master’s thesis.

(It sounds like only a bit, but there’s nothing “only” about a big task like that. I’m excited for it.)

After that? Who knows. I have plans that may or may not work. I’m proud of what I have achieved so far. It’s semester break for me now, but even though I’ll rest a few days, I can’t just do nothing.

I have books to read, movies to watch, languages to learn, cities to visit, a theater play to participate in and my writing to tend to and improve.

…if only I didn’t need to sleep. Imagine what we all could do with eight hours more.