Tag: levi

After Battle.

After battle, Erwin’s lips taste like blood and steel, and it’s the only splinter of a moment in which Levi can bear with the dirt sticking to Erwin’s cheek. It’s the only moment in which he doesn’t care about rubbing the blood off his own blades, the death of comrades sticking to it like thick rainclouds that carry a hurricane.

After battle, Erwin’s hands are reverent and pray to the landscape of his body with gentleness, as they spread warmth into all his broken corners, into the shadows of Levi’s soul.

After battle, he can finally cry out when Erwin’s inside him, hot and thick and heavy, cock sliding deep, raw, until it hits that spot where Levi breaks. Where he shatters into a sob ripping from his lips, nails scratching down Erwin’s neck, tears dripping into the kiss of their tongues and lips and heart.

Bloom. || Part I

It’s not that Levi hates sex. But sex means people, and it means a stranger’s breath on his skin, hands grabbing his hips too tightly or not hard enough, and it means men who try and try so hard to make him feel good; men who all give up in the end. They always do, even those who loved him.

“Why don’t you kiss?” – “Relax. It’s just sex.” – “What, can’t come for me?” – “Baby, what are you hiding from me? Did someone hurt you?”

He doesn’t have sex anymore. He doesn’t kiss, doesn’t flirt. Evenings are a cup of tea and his favourite blanket, freshly washed, some movie on the tv. He falls asleep with his eyes clenched shut, curled into himself to feel a spark of warmth.

Sometimes, Levi wishes for tattoos. Little inked scars on the spots where he wants to be kissed.

A sun rising on his throat, its beams showing a path of gold to his neck. A silver mermaid swimming around his hipbone, delicate fingers resting on his thigh, a fin curled around his waist. Eagle’s wings, white and hazel, spreading on his back, and a thin emerald snake coiling along his spine like a protector of Eve’s apple, its tail reaching around to his stomach, lower. 

He wants black lines that scream “please, touch me. Here, and here, kiss me, love me, fuck my living soul out, but pleaseplease let the sun rise on my neck and make my heart fly”. He already has one tattoo, a pair of crossed wings above his heart. There’s nobody to ask for its meaning. One half is drowning in dark blue ink.

He’s been singing since he can remember, and he’s been searching just as long. The world can’t be that empty, without something that has his heart burst into stars just as much as the first tunes of a symphony. It can’t be the only thing. It just – whenever he thinks he found something, it ends in tears and snow falling on his heart.

He should’ve been more careful with his wishes and the ink dripping off his silent lips.

Levi meets him in one of his music classes. Nice singing voice, deep and rich. That’s all he thinks at first, nothing special – until the man chooses a song. The docent makes Levi join in, half an octave higher, yes please accompany him.

“Demons” by Imagine Dragons, arrangement for two voices and a choir. The other people wait for the new one to start. 

It takes a single line. Levi’s lips part, eyes widen. The sun on his throat blooms.

It’s the first time they melt into each other.

At some point, everyone else falls quiet, their voices a mere susurring of ocean waves. The man’s voice rises like a storm, it roars and whispers and promises darkness, rich, sweet heat that tingles all the way up Levi’s spine and into his skull. The echo is loud and quiet and it’s the first time that his voice shakes during singing.

The man looks at him the whole time, sun reflecting in his eyes, lips moving around words and tunes and pure music.

The snake along Levi’s spine moves, lazily dragging its fangs across his skin. He leaves the music room with crimson in his cheeks and a hurricane swirling through his blood.

The man’s name is Erwin.

Levi doesn’t care. He walks home in delusion, people passing by, none of their shitty words reaching him. Levi hears music, and the music carries blue eyes and velvety flames and a music that burns under his cold, lonely skin.

He’s ashamed to abuse the memory, but that voice is all it takes for him to slide under his covers later and wrap a hand around his cock, the other sliding to press into his tight heat, sobbing as he comes with hips bucking up.

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

Sex was just something Levi never considered. He heard about it, though. He heard that it’s dirty and intimate and wet, and it doesn’t help that he knows how egoistic people are in only fulfilling their own desires. Levi’s decided against it, against filth and strange hands wandering over a body that belongs to no one but him alone, pale skin that he keeps clean and hair that’s soft for nobody else.

Levi satisfies his own needs whenever he has to. It works well for a long time.

Then, Erwin picks him up from the streets like a lost gem that’s actually worth something, and Levi lies awake in his first night of warm sheets, thinking about how those lips that speak commands all day would feel pressed against his own.

It’s three months later that Erwin kisses him on the cheek. It’s after a mission, a comrade’s blood sticking to both of their hands in a last attempt to revive the soldier. They always sit in Erwin’s office and wait in silence, wait for something that’ll never come. It’s their little weird routine after death and blood.

Erwin’s kiss is short, raw. He smells like sweat and blood and dark wood. Levi goes rigid when lips brush his cheek, why what how what is happening what am I supposed to do. Will he do it again. No, he won’t.

Erwin apologizes quietly and leaves with a last touch of his battle-scarred hand against Levi’s frozen shoulder. He closes the door and leaves Levi with lips gasping for air and a heart screaming for words, an explanation – and the pulsing wish to find out if Erwin’s lips would feel as good on Levi’s neck, where his blood rushes and life beats in his veins.

It takes three things to make Levi drown in the natural force of Erwin Smith.

One. The darkness rising in a blue glare when Levi has his blade against Smith’s neck.

Two. The sheer power of an arm wrapping around his waist as the Commander hauls him onto his horse and away from a titan’s crushing teeth.

Three, four, a thousand and a million. The rough gentleness of lips closing around his fluttering pulse, and Erwin speaking fire and liquid, golden possession into his veins, to his heart, boring and spilling through the cracks inside his soul.

Myriads of years. Levi is open, raw, wounded by him, and Erwin fills him up again, again, again, till it all ends.

His every move is accompanied by a soft tingling of war. There are silver bullets in his veins and the blood of dead ones smeared across his throat, invisible, a warning sign for anyone who’s tempted by the lethal beauty of his body. It’s a mere instrument to kill, or so Levi thought. 

But Erwin, oh, he knows how to pull Levi’s strings and bite, lick, kiss under his skin until his body is lighting the night sky in red and golden flames and Levi himself roars, heart thundering in his chest as Erwin opens him, tongue pressing between his shaking legs and takes all war out of him, all blood, fear, death.

Fifteen years later, Levi’s fingers touch the white fabric of the shirt Erwin wore when he lost his arm. Levi has always kept it inside his uniform pants’ pocket, pressed close to his body like a second skin. The dark blood stains are fading with every passing year. Before every battle, every mission, every time he has to part from Erwin with kisses and whispered love hidden behind ‘be careful’ and ‘don’t you dare die’, Levi takes out the fabric and squeezes it inside his fist.

Today, he takes it out one last time, and puts in on top of the fireplace where there’s an old picture of friends, faces that are long gone dust and dirt. Levi gently folds the fabric and lays it down, stepping back to smile, before a warm arm wraps around him and Erwin is back in their new home, a small house at the forest’s coast with trees story-telling dreams through the rustling of their leaves, and Levi turns to steal another kiss from lips he’s been whispering hidden love to since twenty years ago.