Daisuga week 2015. Day 2. Travel.
It takes an hour for Hinata to stop crying and look up at Daichi. “Tell me,” he says, voice cracked from tears. “Why does it hurt so much when he’s gone? I know it’s for his career. But… how did you do this? How were you and Suga away from each other for six months?”
Daichi wants to pull him underneath his skin and whisper ‘Kageyama loves you, and he will return’ into his bones. Instead, he smiles, and speaks.
He tells Hinata the story that begins after his and Koushi’s graduation, a story of a night under starlight and the heaviest words he’s ever heard: “I’ll go to Europe, and I need to go alone.”
Daichi’s story isn’t long, but it fills the silence with colours that seem endless. He tells Hinata how Koushi had kissed him a last time, how he had just smiled when Daichi asked: “Why?” And how the answer had only been: “For us. So I can know myself before I learn everything about you.” How Daichi had been angry, sad, jealous, until his father had told him to go visit an old friend in Canada and think about whether he’d take over the company or not. Daichi had thought about it for two days. Then, he’d booked the ticket.
Letting go was the hardest thing he’d ever done. They didn’t phone, didn’t see each other’s faces, didn’t hear the soft whisper of “I love you”.
But Daichi tells Hinata about the short messages Koushi had sent, only one per day. “Paris is beautiful, not only at night.” – “The ocean is colder here. The wind tastes different.” – “I miss you.” – “I’ll stay in Kopenhagen for my last week. I want to see you. Do you know the Little Mermaid there?”
Hinata doesn’t cry anymore. He stares at Daichi, eyes wide, and rubs the tears away. “And you went to see him. What – what happened?”
“We met,” Daichi says, soft. “Sometimes, distance breaks people, and sometimes it weaves them together even more. Have faith in Kageyama.”
He doesn’t tell Hinata anything else about the end. The last night of his journey, how he walked up to the mermaid’s metallic shimmer in the dawn’s light, how Koushi turned to smile at him through tears – that is something Daichi doesn’t say out loud.
The flecks of gold in Koushi’s eyes and the kiss of salt and “let’s be forever” are curled around Daichi’s heart. When he falls asleep with Koushi’s weight melted against his chest, Daichi thinks back to the little mermaid, to Kopenhagen, and thanks the cold wind for carrying his choked “yes, yes” right into Koushi’s soul.